Forever and a Day
by azkabcn
Summary: Part One in the 'A Family Minus One' trilogy. Anna writes a letter to her dead fiancé, five years after his demise. One-shot.


**A/N: Hi again, Frozen lovers. Another one-shot from me to you. Hope you like it. Don't forget to leave a review.**

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Anna sat in her room, at her desk, with a pot of ink, a quill and a sheet of paper. She knitted her eyebrows and began furiously writing in her scrawled, spidery hand.

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 _To my dearest, sweetest Kristoff,_

 _I seriously cannot put to paper how much I'm missing you. It's just... I know it's almost been six years since you discovered your brain tumour... but I need you. I just can't seem to move on. Elsa keeps telling me how I'm going to make myself mentally ill if I don't let you go, but_ I can't _._

 _And, speaking of Elsa, you'll never guess what. She's found herself a fiancé. His name's Will, and his father used to be a guard for Mum and Dad before they left to go travelling, and now he's back in Arendelle. He's only a few years older than her, I think it's three. He's actually a really sweet person. I don't think I'll mind having him as a brother in law. But, anyway, they met two years ago, and they 'instantly clicked' (Elsa's words, not mine). It took them a year of extremely strong friendship before Will had the courage to ask her out, though. He's got deep black curls, quite a contrast to her nearly white locks, don't you think? His eyes are... you know what? I've not taken a good look at his eyes. I'll need to do that. Anyhow, I'm rambling. He proposed, like, three months ago, and their wedding's in nine months._

 _I'm really, really trying hard to be happy for them, but I can't help but feel jealous. Elsa's not the one whose fiancé discovered a brain tumour in its last stage, when it was far to late to save him. She gets to be happy, she gets to have a future, she gets to go on and have children. I_ could _do those things, but I'd have to find someone else to do them with. And if I find someone else, I'm losing my loyalty to you. And you'd kill me._

 _Gosh, I'm crying. I really need lessons from Olaf on how to stay optimistic. Elsa used to think that she was the depressed one. Now she's happy, she's got a bright future ahead of her. I'm not. I think I need to come and join you. Will you let me do that? Will you wait for me until I find you? I hope you will. I can't live like this anymore. I just want Elsa to turn around and tell me to leave like she did at her coronation. This time I'll listen to her; not ask her what she's afraid of. I'll leave - and I'll leave for good._

 _Olaf still doesn't understand that you're not going to come back. He keeps asking me when you'll come home from your holiday. (We told him that you've gone on a permanent holiday - didn't think he knows the meaning of death - and we didn't really know how we should explain it to him (I guess he doesn't understand what the word permanent means, either.)) Other than that, he's still his ever cheerful self, and I think he's helping a little. Only a little, though. He lifts my mood, and I'm starting to become reliant on him for happiness. But it's not enough._

 _I'm still taking good care of Sven, like you asked me to. I think because he's the only other one who understands my pain, I can get myself out of bed to feed and care for him. He's getting old, now, and his age is starting to show through. He's not as agile as he once used to be. I've gotten into the habit of riding him every morning to make sure his muscles don't clench (that happened once and we all got so scared for him) but recently he's sagged a little every time I've got on him. So I've decided to walk him around instead of actually ride him. He's slower than he was. I remember watching you ride him around our horse training course and him flying through it like lightning. We timed him and he only took a minute and thirty seven seconds to get round the whole thing. Do you remember that day? I hope you do. Anyway, I timed him a few weeks ago and he took three minutes and fourteen seconds. Double the time it took him last time. I really wish I could say he's not feeling up to it because you're gone, but I think we all know we'll soon have to say goodbye to him too._

 _Elsa says it's not the same without you. She said she needed you to know that everything was alright, that everything is just how it should be. But she's got Will. She doesn't get what it's like to lose your fiancé. Yes, she's lost her parents. As have I. But it's one thing to lose the people who gave birth to you. It's another thing to lose your life partner. Losing your parents means that you've lost your past, technically speaking. Losing your fiancé means losing your present and your future. I should know. I've lost them both._

 _And the rock trolls are doing alright too. Grand Pabbie found an ancient potion to stop trolls from ageing, and all your family were tempted to take it. But then Bulda asked (rhetorically) what the point of staying to watch the world go by was when you haven't got your own 'son' (obviously she didn't put the apostrophes in) to watch over, or even better watch the world go by with you. I heard her getting all sniffy at this point and I think she's missing you a hell of a lot. Grand Pabbie actually admitted that he was missing you too, and I guess I realise now that the pain of losing a child is worse than the pain of losing a fiancé._

 _I wonder what it's like up in Heaven. Is it nice? I bet you can have all the chocolate you want. Do you remember me? Do you remember Sven? I know we all remember you. I still have that picture of you and I. Every time I look at it, I tear up, so it's in Elsa's study, since I don't usually need to go in there (nor do I want to: what with all those books and letters and numbers and all) and Elsa's better than me at handling this stuff (conceal, don't feel; ring any bells?) so yeah. That's that._

 _And lastly, before I sign off, I have to ask one last time._ Will _you wait for me? Until I get to wherever you are? Please. And now I'm going to have to cry an myself an ocean and submerge myself in it. Goodbye, my dear Kristoff. I love you so, so much and I wish that you could be here with me now. I wish I could have one last hug, one last kiss, but I know that my chance is gone now. I love you._

 _Your ever loving, ever loyal fiancée_

 _Anna xxx_

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Anna signed off the letter and stared at it. Her ink pot had run dry, she was writing _that_ furiously. Her eyes filled with tears and she let her quill drop to the floor. She rested her arms on the desk and her forehead on her arms. She cried, letting everything go. All of the emotions that she'd bottled up for five years were flooding out of her now in rivers. She was undone.

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 **A/N: Here we are folks! What did you think? I personally think this is good. Maybe even better than good. Leave a review to let me know how I did.**


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